Monday, 31 March 2014

NEW - SOME COLD HARD FACTS - THAT ARE ACTUALLY THE BASIS OF A SUCCESSFUL 'REALITY BASED' MARRIAGE

I appreciate romance yes indeed, but I think common sense should take precedence over 'beautiful words & romantic sentiments' at times....I have been happily married for over 21 years (since I was 19 & my wife was 17), kind of a record for most young people in the world today....but I ALWAYS maintained that a spouse could/should never be THE most important person in anyone's life...do we have OURlives to thank our spouses for? No....of course we do have to thank them for OUR children's lives (we made their physical bodies together)....but even our children - our flesh & blood - come higher in spiritual importance than our spouses.

Let us face COLD HARD FACTS....Our parents, siblings & children - will ALWAYS be our parents, siblings & children (we CANNOT change those FACTS)...but our spouse may not always be our spouse (as any divorced person knows very well...the person you sided with yesterday against your own family - might become the 'hated Ex' of your own tomorrow) and can be replaced at any time we so desire....so what is the bloody point turning your back on your parents (who YOU owe your life to) or your siblings or your children - who are your own flesh & blood....for it is these SAME people that you will inevitably run back to for comfort and support if your 'perfect marriage' should one day fail.

I am not saying to treat your spouse as a worthless 3rd wheel, but I AM saying do not put emotional ties OVER blood ties....or you might be left a lonely fool in the long run. Recognise what is 'inescapably permanent' - and what is 'potentially temporary'.
My wife and I always maintain that we will never put our love for each other (solid as it still is) OVER the love we have for our parents, siblings or children...like some people who foolishly turn AGAINST their own flesh & blood for amorous love/lust/infatuation (which is replaceable) and fail to recognise the more spiritually significant and higher non-sexual love that exists in the minds of normal and spiritually far-thinking people who grew up in close-knit loving families.
When you are cognizant of the bigger picture (it is NOT just about you and your spouse and the rest of the world can kiss your ass) you will do your utmost to work through every problem because you realise how many OTHER lives are involved in 'your marriage'...but if you are blinded by the selfishly insular 'romantic love' - you are more likely to experience a failed marriage, because the same way it was 'always just about the two of you forsaking all others' (including your own family)....you will likewise make a similarly selfish decision to end your once 'perfect' marriage when the first serious problem comes along between the two of you.

I think 21 years of success in marriage warrants our philosophy being given more credit than the average person may assume on face value..it has kept our marriage focussed on the bigger more important picture (i.e - we are NOT alone in this union and our responsibilities reach out far beyond the two of us) in our earthly lives, and does not limit us within the realm of emotional naivete that most married couples seem to exist within.

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